


How Did We Get Here?

by wheezesanddemons



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, Excessive Fluff, Flashbacks, Idiots in Love, M/M, Ryan knows he's in love but doesn't know when it happened, also blink and you'll miss standrew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 11:01:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14354103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheezesanddemons/pseuds/wheezesanddemons
Summary: Is there one defining instant when you realize, "wow, I love this person."





	How Did We Get Here?

**Author's Note:**

> I was writing a totally different story when this happened. It just took off in another direction and I don't think I could be more pleased about it.

There comes a point in every relationship when someone asks that one question. Whether it’s one month into being together or one year, it maybe be before one or both have ever realized it. Regardless, that question comes eventually and it seems like each half has their own correct answer. One moment. One defining action that has someone realizing,  _this is it_.

That damn question comes and he’s sitting there like an idiot with glazed over eyes as he tries to come up with an answer; Steven leans against Ryan’s desk, both men watching Shane and Jen as they laugh about something that one of them said. Her toothy grin shines from nearly ear to ear, while his head falls backwards and Ryan can almost hear his laughter even with being on the opposite side of a closed door. Ryan adores that laugh, it’s his favorite sound. The only thing better than hearing it is being the reason for it. Seeing that joy on his features is enough to curl a smile onto Ryan’s own lips.

“When did you realize you were  _in love_  with him?”

And, there it is. Those stupid words.

The silver haired man’s eyes fall from the two regaining themselves from laughter, to Ryan, sitting in his rolly chair, eyes starting to dull as that smile falters. Steven doesn’t move, hands against the end of the desk, supporting himself. Waiting. Expecting. Ryan, on the other hand, nearly forgets that they’re in the office. He can hear his too tall boyfriend’s laughter even as they’ve fallen back into conversation already.

He loves that laugh.

He loves that smile.

Loves the way long arms flail until finding something to balance himself.

How his eyes squint.

Was there one thing that made Ryan fall for Shane? Or, had it always been there? Growing with each time they spend together. Each smile that shined especially for Ryan or each wink meant only for Ryan’s eyes. The way he would intertwine their fingers while walking home or press a kiss to his forehead as he falls asleep on the couch during one of their movie nights. Does the fact that he has to think about it bad? In movies, people just... know.

How is this one of the  _hardest things he’s been asked_?

****

It’s date number - somewhere in the thirties, no forties. Maybe. Both of them have lost count. Regardless, it’s late and both boys have found their way outside the theater and are currently searching for the car. So what if it’s the third time Ryan has seen the Paddington movie? It’s his favorite. And, Shane can’t say no to those eyes when they’re basically pleading.

“How is it that you always forget when we parked?”

Shane’s shoulders rise and fall in a lazy shrug, “why don’t you pay more attention?”

A light laugh falls through Ryan’s lips and he shakes his head, “passenger shouldn’t have to. You’re the one driving the car. Parking the car. Besides, you look over everything, you should be able to see it as soon as we walked out the door.”

Shane’s turn to laugh, as he does after each too tall joke his shorter partner makes. “That sounds like some sort of magic power.”

They search for another ten minutes and somehow ( to this day, Ryan says it was on purpose ) they’ve split up. Now Ryan is searching for Shane. Calling out how it’s not funny anymore. He’s tired. Threatening to do the Bigfoot call to find his own boyfriend. When, finally, there’s Shane. Leaning against the vehicle. Wide grin and raised eyebrow, waiting.

“Well it’s about time.”

“Shut up, Shane. You did that on purpose. Did you know where the car was the whole time? Decided it would be funny to -“

Before he can even finish his argument, Shane pulls on his hand until their as close as humanly possible. Long arms twining around his boyfriend’s waist. Ryan’s arms rest on Shane’s chest, leaning back just enough to look him in the eyes. But Shane’s not having it. Won’t allow the other to continue the debate. As if he can see it in the way Ryan’s eyes hold that glint. And they do, he would have happily continued to blame Shane. Though, he’s already leaning into the shorter one and lips are splitting perfectly against Ryan’s, eyes closing easily and arms wrapping a little tighter. Teeth nipping at his bottom lip as he pulls back once more.

And there’s Ryan, eyes still close even as they’ve parted, a smile forming obviously relaxing in the safe space. Even when he opens his eyes, they’re dazed. Happy. Content. Perfect.

_He adores this man._

****

Some days being late nights. And, this time it happens to be Ryan waiting, sitting on the couch while some television show plays in the background just for noise. His gaze darts to the door every five minutes. Each noise makes him hopeful that, finally, he’s home! To no avail, of course. Eventually he’s overtaken by yawns and the clock reads half past eleven and at some point he’s gone from leaning on the arm rest to complexity lying down with his head now resting there. Sleep begs to take him. Glossy eyes and heavy lids.

Netflix has been turned on and it’s already asking if he’s still there. Though, Ryan is too tired to reach for the remote on the coffee table to tell it that, yes. Of course he’s there.

The room turns dark and his breathing evens out and Ryan succumbs to sleep. Exhausted. And really he doesn’t have to stay awake. Shane has a key to his apartment.

How long had he been out before keys jingle and the door creaks as it’s slowly opened and then closed. An eyebrow raises even as eyes beg to stay closed. He doesn’t see or hear Shane toe off his shoes, nor does he hear the keys rest on the rack by the door.

Instead, it’s the soft fingers that comb through messy hair, it’s the way the couch gives a little as he sits on the edge. It’s the feel of his lips right at his hairline. His temple. His nose. Both cheeks. The corner of the smile that’s appeared.

“You didn’t have to wait up.” His voice is quiet, but pulls Ryan from his trance regardless. “I lost track of time helping edit the videos for Ruining History. I’m sorry, baby.”

The pet name is what makes his eyes open. Used to it, sure, but he loves it nonetheless. Shane’s eyes are soft, apologetic. “The couch is comfortable. Besides, who says I was waiting on you?” And, Ryan’s too tired to put any kind of edge behind the question, so it comes out fond and pure.

Shane returns the small smile, finishing his earlier task of leaving trails of kisses over his features. Lastly, fitting their lips together. There’s no lust behind it. No deepening it or hands roaming. Instead, it’s light, lips just grazing and Shane’s hand cups Ryan’s cheek. He barely leans back and Ryan already chases after him, only to be pulled up from the couch.

They fall asleep on top of the blankets that night. Shane used as Ryan’s pillow. Legs tangled together. An arm curled protectively around Ryan, begging for him to be closer.

_He could fall asleep like that, every night._

****

Waking up the next morning brings the smell of fresh coffee, and while it should be enough to have Ryan rolling off of the bed, he just lays there, basking in how perfect it is to wake up to that. For ten minutes, he lets himself curl into the sheets and keep his eyes closed. Allow himself just a little more time before the day begins. Before they have to rush around to get ready for work and then spent another eight plus hours bustling around. Meeting deadlines, doing research, the whole big thing.

With a contended sigh, he finally lets his feet find the carpet, stretching his arms and glancing around before getting up and making his way down the hall, into the kitchen, where Shane is pouring himself a mug full of coffee. As soon as their eyes meet, his long arm is already shuffling around for another mug.

“Morning, I was wondering if you were going to get up at all today. The glass is placed in his hands, a kiss planted into disheveled hair _._  “I don’t the the big wigs would appreciate a day off just lying around. Besides aren’t you behind on your work?” There’s already a teasing edge to his tone and a sly smile shining. “Only one of us stays late to make sure they’re caught up.” He winks, sipping his coffee.

“Shut the hell up, Shane, it’s too early.” Brows knit together and his lips are in a straight line, lids still half closed. Though, the menacing looks don’t stop the erupting laughter that comes from his idiotic boyfriend.

So, maybe he’s too energetic in the morning.  _Ryan wouldn’t give it up._

****

Of course, Unsolved is Ryan’s treasure, his baby, but somehow it’s also what nightmares are made out of. To this day, he asks himself what the hell he was thinking when he decided to shoot on location at these dark, dilapidated, haunted buildings. More so, when he’s sitting in a room by himself. Silence surrounding him. Or - the spirit box screaming.

Having Shane and the crew around helps because, at least he’s not by himself in these awful places. But every now and again they decide to sleep there, and TJ packs up his gear and says his goodbyes ( and his mantra of stay safe, hope nothing gets you guys ) leaves and it’s just the two of them and some cameras and the items Ryan has brought along with them. His heart races and in the dark he swears that some shadow just passed by that door. And, was that someone whispering? What was that noise? His mind is going in every direction. Questioning every single thing.

It’s not an episode of Supernatural unless Shane is screaming at the demons or spirits to show themselves, or calling them wimps, or insulting them in some other way. No matter how Ryan begs him not to or tells him to shut up and asks what the fuck is wrong with him. Then again, it’s also not a season of pure horror until Ryan is sitting in a room, alone, talking to - whatever.

This time he’s supposed to be quiet for two minutes. And, while he breaks the rule and asks a question every now and again, Ryan’s mostly silent. Hearing noises or feeling something touch his skin. The last minute he turns on the spirit box and it talks to him all the while Shane is outside laughing and teasing and banging his hand on the door to make his companion jump out of his skin.

“Get... out.. -- death -- Ryan.”

“Oh fuck, no. Shit, shit shit.” Immediately he’s up on his feet, the white noise yelling at him, “fuck no. No, no. I gotta get out of here. Shane? Shane! Has it been two minutes, I can’t do this anymore man.” 

“ S --  _shane_.”

“Nope. I don’t want to talk anymore!” And, with that, the box quiets. Turns off. He gives, can’t listen anymore. The door opens to a tall form looming over the door, it startles Ryan until he realizes it’s Shane. “It was talking to me. It said your name!” 

“It probably didn’t, it probably said,” of course, he makes inaudible noises and laughs afterwards at the glare his boyfriend throws back.

A  _tap tap_  sounds off in the distance and Ryan is visibly shaking. Looking in every direction as if he’s going to see something appear. ( Shane tells him it’s a tree tapping against a window, it’s nothing paranormal. ) However, a hand still slides into Ryan’s in the space between them, and he’s suddenly only aware of their palms pressed together. That alone eases his mind. Grounds him and he’s thanking anything and everything that the cameras can’t see their hands. That Shane doing whatever he can to comfort him is only known to him. It’s their moment and their moment alone. 

Okay, maybe ghost hunting isn’t so bad with  _the love of his life_  protecting him. 

****

Out of the corner of his eye, Steven’s brow raises and he’s waiting for the answer. Ryan glances at him and then to the two in the other room. Shane turns and closes a cupboard and catches Ryan’s eyes. Gives him a smile and a wink. 

The chair turns so that, finally, the two are facing one another. Steven’s hands still press against the desk and lips are forming a straight line, he didn’t catch the small moment between Ryan and Shane. No one usually does. It’s their moment. Just meant for the two of them. For one moment Ryan questions if he’s asking because somewhere he’s wondering if he’s fallen for Andrew. Every now and again he catches their moments. 

Shoulders rise and fall and there’s no answer for just a second. “I think,” he finally begins, eyes shining and features full of adoration, “it’s not one thing or one instant. It’s small things that add up. Realizing it over time. For me? I’ve always loved Shane, it just happened to grow the closer we got until I was sure that, he’s the one. The only one.” It’s sappy and Ryan doesn’t often let himself be that way at work around the others, but. Just this once.

Steven nods, seems content with that answer as a smile appears on his lips. Ryan thinks his eyes dart momentarily to where Andrew is sitting at his own computer. He excuses himself and wanders off aimlessly. Just as Ryan notices Shane is walking away from Jen, still looking pleased with whatever they had been discussing. Ryan catches him and bumps his arm, only to have it wind around his shoulder. 

There’s a comfortable silence as they walk back to their area together, Ryan glances up and just allowed himself to take in Shane’s features. Relishing in the smile lines on his eyes, the way the chestnut color seems brighter today.

His reverie is broken as Shane takes his arm back, reaching their respectable chairs, Ryan sits first, still stealing glances before almost whispering ( just for Shane to hear ) “I love you, you know that right?”

“Of course I do.” And before Shane sits, his lips linger just at the edge of Ryan’s ball cap and the words are whispered back to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This might be the first one I've written that I feel comfortable posting.   
> Comments are always appreciated! Also, let me know if there's mistakes, I didn't read through it.  
> Find me on tumblr @actualdemonmadej!


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